Even in the food industry we deal with the ever present threat of terrorism

Hidden Valley Ranch Bombed By Balsamic Extremists

May 30, 2001 | Issue 37•20

OAS_AD('Bottom1'); Click Here

HIDDEN VALLEY, CA–A radical Balsamic fundamentalist group detonated an estimated 800 pounds of TNT at the Hidden Valley Ranch compound Monday, killing 11 and injuring dozens more. "Let no salad again be foully tainted by the corrupt regime of Hidden Valley," said Martin Pulaski, leader of the Nation Of Balsam, in a statement claiming responsibility for the deadly attack. "We shall not rest until every salad's flavor is enhanced by a light and tangy vinaigrette, not buried in a shameful avalanche of buttermilk."

© Copyright 2006, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.
The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.

Comments

# re: Even in the food industry we deal with the ever present threat of terrorism

Monday, July 10, 2006 1:57 PM by Elmulatto

Amen my brutha! As'basalma'lakim!