Exactly 3 weeks and 4 hours ago I cut nearly a half inch off my left pinky finger while chopping some bacon.  For some reason, I pick up the tip and threw it away, not realizing that I should have kept it to stop the (profuse) bleeding. It bled off and on for the next couple of days, and, as of about 5 or 6 days ago, it has completely sealed up and is almost back to normal.

So, anyway, I'm browsing DRUDGE and find this:

The amazing 'pixie dust' made from pigs bladder that regrew a severed finger in FOUR weeks

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/technology/technology.html?in_article_id=563099&in_page_id=1965&ct=5

Now, I have to tell you that my finger looked almost exactly like the severed finger in the picture. In fact, most everyone here at work thought it was my finger, and wondered how I got in the news. 

So how does this guy get in the news for healing in a week and half longer than me by using PIG BLADDER? Who do I have to call to report my historic scientific break through?

Here's my headline:

Studly Chef in Utah regrows severed finger in TWO AND A HALF WEEKS less than British Pansy with "pixie dust" concoction 

On a strange side note:  I was handling and roasting a whole raw pig a couple of weeks ago...hmmmm