Speak Your Mind Friday

Fantasy Football season is approaching!  I just got my Draft Preview magazine in the mail yesterday.  

Wanted to leave a joke. Since I'm from the south, this is really funny.

"Are you a Democrat, Republican, or Southern Republican?"

     Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?

     Answer: Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a .357 Magnum, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
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Democrat's Answer:

 Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

 Does the man look poor or oppressed?

 Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

 Could we run away? What does my wife think?

 What about the kids?

 Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

 What does the law say about this situation?

 Does the Magnum have appropriate safety built into it?

 Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

 Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

 Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

 If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

 Should I call 9-1-1?

 Why is this street so deserted?

 We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

 This is so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and
try to come to a consensus.

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Republican's Answer:

 BANG!

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Southern Republican's Answer:


 BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of reloading).

 BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

Having lived in the south I can tell you that this is slightly in error. The BANG is from the daughter's .357 because a real man in the south would carry a .44 or .50 cal Smith & Wesson. The sound wouldn't be BANG... It would be BOOOOOM!!!!! and you wouldn't be able to see a grouping... just a big hole.

Has anybody seen The Patriot with Mel Gibson? I watched it on TV the other day. The hero is looking to enlist some locals (movie setting is South Carolina circa 1778). He walks into a tavern with a French volunteer. The Frenchie is clearly disillusioned with the rabble in the tavern and asks if they are in the right place. The hero says "Long live the King" as the men in the tavern pull out their guns and knives and move in to attack. As the Frenchie and hero tuck tail and run, the hero says that they were in the right place.

This story is why I support the 2nd ammendment. It is also why many liberals are affraid of the 2nd ammendment. It is easier to rule over men who cannot fight back.